On Reading, Nooks, Book Reviews and 2011 Part II

And so, without much further ado (goodness knows I’m good at the “ado”):

The "Bad" and the "Ugly" Book Reviews

Worst Book: P.S. I Love You by Cecelia Ahern

Believe it or not, the Worst Book I read this year does not go to the Twilight saga (because I actually think those books had some merit…very little, but just enough).

I really enjoyed the movie P.S. I Love You, so of course I wanted to read the book. Don’t. It was awful—nothing like the movie at all except for the premise: a young widow’s dead husband leaves her notes and instructions through the year following his death.  Everything else was completely different. I’ve read books that I’ve really liked that are quite different than the film, so it wasn’t that. It was just a poorly written book. The potential was there--and the screenwriters took that potential and produced a fairly decent film, but unfortunately Ahern herself did not tap into that potential.

Runner-up Worst Book: Confessions of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella

Okay, so I have had a secret love for “chick-lit” genre books ever since reading Bridget Jones’s Diary, in which I laughed till I cried several times while reading. Unfortunately, most chick-lit novels are poor knock offs of Bridget Jones’s, and therefore don’t quite add up, like buying a pair of Adibas sandals in Sandaga market for 1500 cfa instead of coughing up the 15,000 cfa at City Sport for Adidas sandals. Confessions gets runner-up, and not first place because I “read” it as an audiobook (really, it’s just as terrible as P.S. and, the movie is also much better than the book). It made me want to throw my iPod across the bushtaxi in frustration (because it was the only time I was desperate enough to actually listen to it), but I didn’t since that would have destroyed my iPod.

Worst Series: Percy Jackson and the Olympians by Rick Riordan (Spoiler Alert)

I read these books too quickly (there was a rush on them at the DA library), and it’s possible I got sick of them because of that. Before I criticize them, I will say: these books have done a good job of raising an awareness of Greek mythology, something that, as an English teacher, I do appreciate. Kids just don’t know their Greek myths anymore, and it’s a challenge to understand literature without understanding the underlying allusions.

That said, this series was a poorly disguised attempt to capture the dissipating fever surrounding Harry Potter. I know that books about wizarding schools have been around since before Harry Potter (Ursula K. Le Guinn’s A Wizard of Earthsea had a darker take on schools of wizardery and witchcraft long, long before J.K. Rowling started penning her tale in a café somewhere in Edinburgh), so it’s not like Rowling had an exclusive right to the concept, but too soon, Riordan, too soon. The series featured a young male protagonist who learns about his magical (mythical-magical, potato-pah-tah-toe) powers in middle school, is shipped off to a training camp (camp-school, tomato-toe-mah-toe), learns that there is an evil overlord villain who is setting out to take over the mythical world (and the entire universe, of course) and said young male protagonist must defeat him in order to save the world. I wanted to like them, I did (I have always loved Greek mythology, and the thought of a children’s series based on Greek myths: woo-hoo!)—but there were just too many parallels to Harry Potter—even down to the mythical overlord’s corporeal body being reconstructed bit by bit till the end of the series till he assumes full human shape…um, Voldemort, anyone?

I know some of my readers really did like the Percy Jackson series…I apologize. In the immortal words of Shawn Spenser: “Agree to disagree.”

Silliest Series: Portuguese Irregular Verbs by Alexander McCall Smith

Readers of the The Number One Ladies Detective Agency may be the only ones who pick up these slim volumes (on the strength of their love for Alexander McCall Smith and Mma Ramotswe) as they are extremely, extremely silly. They feature a German academic who is the world’s leading expert on Portuguese irregular verbs, and all of the antics this academic gets himself into. I love silly books—P.G. Wodehouse and I are bosom friends, of course, but these books may be a little too silly. I liked them, but they were pointless. I brought them home over summer break for my parents to read, simply because one of the books is called The Finer Points of Sausage Dogs (my parents being dachshund owners, of course) and they did not really appreciate them. My dad said on his Goodreads review: “strange! pointless!” and recommended them for “no one.” They are the kind of book that I wouldn’t recommend without a lot of disclaimer—“Don’t blame me if you don’t like them…they’re pointlessly silly…it’s not The Number One Ladies…”

Most Ambivalent (Series): Song of Fire and Ice by George R. Martin

Have you ever started a book or a series and not known what to do with it? I don’t recommend these books, but at the same time I’m still reading them. I’m half-way through the third book (with two more published books to go in the series, and who knows how many unpublished) and I think I’m going to keep reading it but I’m not one hundred percent sure.

I don’t really like the books. I guess I want to find out who wins. I don’t know who I want to win. I’m not sure if I like any of the characters (besides the children who may or may not die). He kills off main characters at a whim, adds unlikeable characters to replace the semi-likeable main characters, and focuses far, far, far too much on sex. Well, sex-scenes can be skipped (and are), but they’re still there. And the books are depressing (mostly because he keeps killing off the good guys, and no one is winning the war, and Winter is Coming…)

I just hate not finishing books, and now that I’ve read almost 2500 pages of Martin’s series (most of the time with excuse of hoping it will get better…and skipping the Daenyrs parts—I hate her) I kind of want to finish what I’ve started. So, even though I’ll probably regret it, I’m probably going to finish the series. Unless he really does kill Jon Snow. Then I’m quitting.

Most Embarrassing: Five Hundred Kingdoms by Mercedes Lackey

Do you ever just want to read fluff? Like…pure fluff? This summer my head hurt from thinking…I was exhausted…I was weak. So, I read a few novels in Mercedes Lackey’s Five Hundred Kingdom series, and then felt embarrassed to admit to anyone, especially my students because they were just…poorly written novels. This particular series of Lackey was a retelling of fairy tales from around Europe, and I’ve always enjoyed reworked fairy tales. But, really, the books were thinly veiled excuses for poorly written romance novels. I’m not really a romance novel person, but I read them anyway. These books were cotton candy…I don’t even like cotton candy, and I feel sick after eating it. That’s how the Five Hundred Kingdoms book felt…bleh. (I just don’t get cotton candy…do you?)

What's the worst book or series you read this year? Or the most embarrassing? Or the silliest? Do you have a secret love for a genre that no one would suspect (like an English teacher who reads Chick Lit...or a Trucker who loves Jane Austen...)?

Coming Up: Part III--The "Good" Reviews